Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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