Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Randomize
