I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
