I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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