My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
