I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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