I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize