We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
