grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
