saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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