lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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