I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize