somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
