i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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