it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just blew my weed a kiss
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
