I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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