booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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