I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
