I got chris browned last night
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
