I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
