is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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