This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
