Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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