they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
