i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize