I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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