I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
