So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
