One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
as a side note pls kill me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
