this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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