I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Plan B is the new Plan A
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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