Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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