OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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