they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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