also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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