Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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