That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
