I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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