you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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