she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
