the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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