OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
