it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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