yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
