for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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