it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize