just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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