Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
