that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are we still banned from the library?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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