He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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