some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Me too!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I came so hard my ears popped.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
