He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
