we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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