the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
