I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
