Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
