Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
