Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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