I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
