He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
