First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
