I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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