He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have aggressive nipples.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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