im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
