i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
handjob tips. give me some.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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