I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
