so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
