remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
