Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
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