I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
